Sierra Club Sponsors Legislation to Return Grizzly Bears to Nation's City Parks

The Sierra Club, in cooperation with several other environmental groups, is trying to sponsor legislation to return grizzly bears, as well as jaguars, cougars, bison and wolves, to the nation's city parks. Responding to concerns expressed by leaders in urban areas regarding the safety of children and others who frequent city parks, Moonbeam MacDonald, the spokesperson for the Sierra Club, replied, "Hogwash. There are enough damned people, our country could stand to lose a few." MacDonald went on to lament the fact that "Many of our nation's wildlife and even some bacteria and viruses are imperiled, and if the only way we can ensure their survival is to transplant them into areas inhabited by people, and a few folks are eaten, it's a small price to pay."

"I don't know who some people think they are," said MacDonald. "They've almost wiped the smallpox virus off the face of the earth, except for a little bit the CDC has frozen. And they want to destroy that. Where will it end?" MacDonald went on to say, "If they could they'd wipe out Ebola, the flesh eating Staph virus, Aids, any other species that's a little inconvenient, they just don't care. I hope cancer doesn't turn out to be a virus. They'll probably try to exterminate it too."

When asked about the toll of human suffering caused by these lifeforms, MacDonald replied. "We aren't the only species with a right to be here. All life forms have their place on our earth. Good grief. How utterly selfish can some people get?"

The Sierra Club is having some difficulty finding any Congressmen to sponsor their proposed legislation. "That's only because election time is only a few months away," MacDonald said. "Maybe after November's elections," said one Democratic Congressman, who spoke off the record. "I personally don't much like the idea. Gosh, I have kids of my own who like to play in the parks. But hell, those environmental groups can swing allot of votes. You gotta toss 'em a crumb now and then."

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