I Lost Six Pounds in Eight Days...

How, you ask? It's simple with my diet and exercise program that's so easy yet revolutionary you'll be amazed you didn't think of it yourself!

It all began when I discovered I gained five pounds in a short period of time due to to sloth, overeating and too much beer. I decided I needed to do something, and do something fast, because that five pounds was heaped upon another fifteen I did not need. That's when I began coughing. Yes, Coughing! Coughing kept me awake at night, interfered with my daily routine, and after a few days left me too weak for any other exercise. And yet, I still lost weight. Why?

Since coughing works with your lungs, you get a total aerobic workout, especially if you're racked with a long series of hacks that send your whole body spasming with each cough. Coughing works the muscles of the chest and abdomen, trimming your stomach while you hack. Your heart rate increases and you feel fat melt away as it's converted to energy with which to feed your next series of invigorating coughs. Coughing forces you to drink large amounts of water in order to lubricate your lungs and throat, so you get added health benefits from the extra liquid intake. As you lose your appetite, your caloric intakes decreases as well. It's effortless, involuntary, and amazingly effective!

As the days pass and your weight decreases, you come to a crossroads. Just how much weight do you want to lose? When you notice your coughing begin to subside, you can look at yourself in the mirror and be satisfied with the results, or you can take a nice long walk in the cold night air and regain that cough all over again! Or, if the climate where you live is too warm for cold night air walks, you can get all sweaty and stand in front of the freezer door at the 7-Eleven for twenty minutes. That should do the trick. Who knows how much weight you can lose. 10-20-30 pounds? With a good, energetic cough, you can have that model's figure you've always dreamed of.

So why am I giving you this startling information for free? Simple. If you're like me, you don't have the time or inclination to wait around for a disease induced cough to arise on its own. You want to start hacking right away! That's why we've isolated the germs that caused my cough and grew them in petri dishes so that anyone could obtain the benefits of a nice, vigorous cough. Yes! You can order Larry's Dish 'O Cough Germs and begin your weight loss program immediately. It only costs $29.95 (plus $8.00 shipping and handling) for a supply of germs guaranteed to give you that nasty cough you need to lose as much weight as you want. Just send check or money order to the address below and we'll ship you Dish'O Larry's Cough Germs (complete with instructions) by FedEx overnight. It's the easiest exercise and weight loss program you'll ever try, because IT'S INVOLUNTARY!

Or you can slip some to a loved one with a weight problem, and they'll begin losing weight right away, and never even know why!

Larry's Dish O' Cough Germs
P.O. Box 14663
Hackerville, NY 10021

Order now, and we'll enclose a free sample of
"Tub O' TB"
(For those who have more than 50 lbs to lose)

Copyright ©1998 by Larry Franks

Back to the Joker's Homepage

There have beenpeople without lives looking at this page.