Frequently Asked Questions

Is the Universe open or closed?
The Universe is open Monday thru Saturday from 6:00 a.m. to midnight and closed Sundays and holidays.

Are we there yet?
Don't make me stop this web page!

Are we there yet now?
Shut up ...(screech! whop...)!

I can't seem to shake the feeling that somebody is following me. Why is that so?
You're paranoid.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Eighteen.

A friend of mine said that Fluffy wasn't a real cat. Is Fluffy in fact a cat impersonator?
I don't know where rumors like this get started, but Fluffy is indeed a real cat. And what's more, Fluffy is a she.
Her typing skills are pretty good. For more information, go to Ask Fluffy.

Does Fluffy write all your material?
Yes.

How can I get a copy of that CD by Mary Sue Ellen Bobbi Jo? The songs sound so wonderful.
Since this is a non commercial home page, I am not permitted to give out information like that.
However, write to her at the Alabama State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

I was thinking of visiting Lake Tepid this summer. Where should I stay?
Seattle.

I can't find Tepid City on my map of Washington State. How come?
Tepid City is a state of mind.

Where is the best place to have dinner in Tepid City?
Sal Manella's.

What shoes go best with this dress?
The red pumps.

What is the meaning of life?
The Hokey Pokey. Silly. That's what it's all about.

How can I get Suzie from Algebra class to like me?
Give her money.

I can't find my green polo shirt.
It's in the hamper.

Do you come here often?
I live here.

Is there a God?
No. There are eleven Gods.

How can I lower my serum cholesterol levels?
Lower your blood volume with leeches.

I can't seem to do the exercises to get Perfect Breasts. What am I doing wrong?
Try some lift and stretch warm-up movements first.

Is there life after death and do we have an immortal soul?
That's two questions.

Well?
Okay. The existence of the soul and life after death has been questioned by thinking people for millenia.
Unthinking people have made snap decisions on the subject, thereby saving themselves from both
agonizing self doubts and reflection, as well as the tedious discussions put forth by thinking people
on the existence of the soul and life after death..

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
The amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood depends entirely on :
A. the woodchuck in question, B. the level of desire the woodchuck would have to chuck wood, and
C. the amount of wood available for a woodchuck to chuck.
In other words, 1 and 1/2 cords.

What are FAQ's?
Questions, questions, questions!

Submit your question:
©2012 Larry Franks and Linda Koski

There have beenpeople without lives looking at this page.
Take me back to the index!